GRIEVER's EXCHANGE // When the Veil is Thin

15 suggestions for Grievers in this season of liminal space.

Upon All Hallow’s Eve, upon All Saints Day or on All Souls Day, on the Day of the Dead, at Samhain, and/or just “here” in general—in this more nebulous space between the Equinox and the Solstice, when the harvest has ended and an overt and subtle meditation on stillness, death, and hibernation is on-going, the veil is thin. The spirits are closer than usual—the door between their world and ours is ajar.

What does that mean for us Grievers?
What do you want it to mean?
If your motivation is rooted in love, if you feel safe inviting a connection with other realms in this season—trust that. See what it’s about.

I’m sharing a list of actions and ideas you might consider today, tomorrow, and in the week or so to come. You don’t have to hurry; seasons like this one don’t come and go overnight. Their energy circles around, especially if you’re inviting it to.

And, if you’re reading this at some point out beyond the end of October/early November, perhaps you found yourself here because your personal relationship to veil is thin for some other reason. If anything here appeals to you, it’s for you. No matter when you see this.

• Before you do anything at all, ask yourself what your intention or motivation is. What would you love to see, to hear, to witness, to share, to feel? Understand what you long for, what you hope for, and write that down somewhere. Make a sort of map; ask (nicely) for what you want—name it as plainly and simply as you can.

• As part of that beginning exercise, you might consider and count up all the moments you’ve thought about the would haves and should haves. The times you imagined having one last chance. Those ideas can carry a heavy charge, though, so see if you can find a soft gaze and an easy grip, and then extend that map, give it that extra shape.

• Consider visiting places where different elements exist together. Here in the Seattle area, that could mean visiting Mt. Rainier or Mt. St. Helens. Volcanos are sites of fire and earth. Likewise, waterfalls are sites of water and earth. Where multiple elements are present, the veil is always thin—so visiting these kinds of places can underscore or emphasis the spirit connection.

• Consider creating your own multi-element environments. Line the tub with candles (fire) and take a bath (water). Air carries sound waves, so you could sit on the earth and just listen.

• You know that thing about a “happy place?” Go to yours. Go to where you love to be. Go to where you feel joy. In that joy, you are open. Stay open, stay present. Laugh. Play. Talk to a two year old, play with a puppy. In that joy, you are open.

• Whether visiting or creating spaces of openness and natural elements, what do you notice in your own spirit? Are you calmed, are you excited? What do you notice yourself wanting? Do you feel a pull to try and connect with someone or something that you’ve lost, or do you feel a pull to simply be near to and present with them—and let that be enough? Rather than take anyone else’s idea about what you should do when the veil is thin, take time to listen to what you want, and maybe—if you can read it or sense it—what the spirits of your loved ones wish for, too.

• Particularly if it’s something you’ve already been thinking of, this could be a good time to partner with a skilled tarot reader, an intuitive astrologer, a reiki healer, a reader or a seer.

• This might also be a good time to tune into your own intuition. Start small; create little opportunities to experiment (intuit which elevator door is going to open first, for instance), and coax your inner knowing along from there.

• What might you use to invite spirits to come closer? Would a piece of their favorite chocolate cake, left at the base of a favorite tree, be like a gentle magnet pull? If you left their favorite book on their favorite chair, would that be an invitation? Listen to their favorite record, watch their favorite movie. Wear their old worn flannel shirt.

• What would happen if—when connecting to extra sensory talents (yours or others)—you gave others, as in other spirits, a chance to speak first? What if you prioritized listening? What if you opened up that channel and then allowed for this time of liminality to be the pathway through which you might receive a message or an answer that you hadn’t even known to ask for. What if you reserve your questions and ideas, and give your loved and faraway ones the opportunity to set the scene, to establish the subject matter, to express something they need to express?

• On the other hand, you might consider using this opportunity to share something you’ve been holding for too long. Something you’ve needed to tell someone, something you’ve been wanting to talk through. Is it possible that there are benevolent spirits just waiting to be there for you? Could you fold a note into the fireplace and let it go? Could you sit quietly under a canopy of trees in the rain and speak softly, aloud to whomever is listening?

• Pay attention to your dreams, yes, sure—of course, always. And, show your dreams that you’re listening by bringing some element of them into your waking life. I’ll never forget Amanda Yates Garcia giving this instruction in one of her full moon ceremonies. She said if she dreams of eating a stack of pancakes, she’ll eat a stack of pancakes that next day. If she dreams of rowing a boat while wearing that one purple sweater, she’ll at least wear that purple sweater even if she can’t manage to find a row boat. Say to whatever’s on the other side of the door, “I heard you say that, I am listening for more.” Show your dreams that you’re paying attention; show them that you’re taking note and taking action, and that you want to see more.

• Dress up, wear a mask, put on a costume. Those traditions at this time of year come from notions of tricking the dead into thinking this earthly, living realm is the same as theirs. That spirits run free here, too. And yes, often that was to keep the living safe from being taken into the spirit world, but if you don’t feel fear, there’s no reason to act in fear.

• Say your loved one’s name. Names are personal and potent. When someone calls your name from down the hallway, you tend to straighten up right away, you turn towards the call, you become more alert. Do those automatic reactions fade away on the other side? Maybe, maybe not.

• Look for, watch for, and be aware of messages. Notice anything that comes up multiple times in a day (a song, a phrase, a number, an otherwise obscure subject) and get curious about what that thing could be tied to or hinting at. Pay attention to chance encounters and coincidences. Listen for what’s being said, and what’s between those words—hidden or coded inside them.